GET YOUR WAR ON
Oh yeah! Operation:
Enduring Our Freedom is in
the motherfucking house
Yes! Operation
Enduring Our Freedom To
Bomb The Living Fuck Out
Of You is in the house!!
How psyched is George
W. Bush fo defeat Saddam
Hussein for his dad?
Oh yeah
Operation:
Enduring Freedom
,is in the house
George H W Bush is
gonna be SO damn proud
of his son He'll probably
put Saddam's death certidi
cate on the fridge! I was a
C student
Just wait und twelve years from now,
when Jenna Bush fuckin defeats Osama
bin Laden for her dad! Wit the circle be
unbroken, by and by Lord, by and by?
wish I could do
something Ike that
for my dad
Is this truly the only
Earth I can live on?
Right! God, if only
that War On Drugs hadn't
been so effective! I could
really use some fucking
marijuana right now!
know Remember when
the U.S. had a drug problem
and then we declared a War
On Drugs, and now you
can't buy drugs anymore?
It'l be just like that
All I have to say
is, Once this is over.
the Iragi people better
be the freest fucking
people on the face of
the earth. They better
be freer than me. They
better be so fucking
free they can ly
And they better get
fed. They better get fotally
chubby. I want a furkin
five-mile-long butfet for
those kids-and I want that
buffet to be permanent.
Oh my God, this War
On Terrorism is gonna
rule! I can't wait until the
war is over and there's
no more terrorism
And I want a
multimillion dollar
reconstruction
contract for
Halliburton. God
that would realy
be so
just
Well, it turns the relief
effort into a fun game for
the Afghan people-a game
called See if you have any
fucking arms left to eat the
food we dropped after you
step on a landmine trying
to retrieve it!
The Coalition of the
Willing is about to rock!
Thanks, Uzbekistan
Thanks, Macedonia You
guys are the best!
Can you believe
Afghanistan signed
on? Do they really
have time fo help-
with this?
Right! Or maybe they
could play "See it, when you
step on the landmine, the
food package flies into your
fucking decapitated head as
it sails through the air
Oh, that's no big deal-
they're just allowing us the use
of some broken promises
You know what I love?
I love how we're dropping
food aid packages into a
country that's one big fucking
minefield That's good
Aren't you glad
the smoking gun
never came in the
form of a mushroom
cloud?
My friend in the State Department
told me. "If you see what looks lae a
mushroom cloud over Iraq don't
worry-it's not the smoking gun it's
just Ahmad Chalabi blowing more
smoke out of his ass
Holy fuck-anthrax in
Seriously! Who the fuck are
I never understood that line-was
Condoleezza Rice talking about a
smoking gun in the form of a mush
room cloud over iraq, or over us? The
idea of Saddam Hussein flying over
here and dropping a nuclear bomb on
us seems fuckin retarded
I know! What's next-
George W. Bush is gonna
hold a press conference and
tuckin' rip his face off and it's
gonna be Ming the Merciless
up under 1there? Jesus
New York City! We're gettingwe fighting, fucking Lex Luthor?
our fucking ass kicked!
When is the goddamn Death
Star gonna shoot that big-ass
laser at us?
So if you're not with us,
you're against us, huh?
I ke it So nice and simple!
When do we start bombing
Western Europe?
Well yeah Bul, dude, we re e
goddame United Stales of Amprical We have
a Rag on the moon yet s supoosed to be
impressed we'se doing a better job than
Saddam Hussen? You ste we cant set the
bar a ltle higher Hellhe way things are
going I wouldnt be surprised t rag was
better off being un by a fuckin ATM
machine and the cast of Friends
Can't we just build a fucking
bomb the size of the earth and cut a
hole out of the middle in the shape
of The United States? Drop the
motherfucker around us and take
care of business once and for all?
Oh man! Tell the
boys down at the
bomb-makin' factory
to brew up some
coffee-they re
gonna be working
some serious god-
damn overtime
Wait a minute
Totaly halt-assed
makes no sense
First we threaten
to deny Alghans
humanitarian aid, then
we torture Iragis
These people were
kind enough to let us
invade why treat em
in such a totaly halt
assed way
hall assed is st
much, much betler than
"totally Taiban'ed or
"totaly Saddam ed
Nether does
Donald Rumaleld
Secretary of Detense
Get over it
Ooh-d you do
that, will you look un
the entry for "lgnore?
I want to know if it still
has that picture of
Afghanistan
You know what I realized? All these
guys you see on TV, speaking about Iraq
and sovereignty and June 30th and what
not? None of them has any fucking idea
what they're talking abouf. I listened to
those blowhards for over a year and I didn't
learn A SINGLE GODDAMN CORRECT
THING They talk out of their asses so much
their cushions are probably deat, Id learn
more about the future of Irag if I read a
Golden Book Encyclopedia upside-down ins
the dark
Agreed! This is totally Loony Toons-I love
that the fate of the world hangs in the balance
Bush is talking about conquering evildoers yet
the CIA cant fucking transtate the evildoers"
Arabic voodoo-spells! The Office of Homeland
1Security" makes the DMV look like fucking Delta
Force And look, I understand why bin Laden
sounds craryhe's an eleven-foot tall mother-
fucker who lives in a cave! But why does Bush
sound like he's addressing a fucking Dungeons
& Dragons convention? At least I can tear my
hair out full-time now that I've been laid off
Mant I hke a good stiff Operation
Enduring Freedom as much as the next
guy, but I've reached my limits of under
standing! All of a sudden my fucking
mailman is a Hero on the Front Lines in the
War Against Terror? My daughter wants to
sell cookies to help the people my
nephew's been sent to fucking bomb? Im
supposed to help the FBI find clues and
solve crimes? MA CLAIMS ADJUSTER,
NOT FUCKING ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN'
Who's in charge of this shit?
You know what thought
woke me up at three in the
morning last night?
Rumsteld, Feith, and Perle are
ually more incompetent
than they are evil How the
hell is that possible?
Alp
Jpr,
